We met at a bar. But it wasn't just any bar, it was Joe Mercury's on the corner of Dundas West and Bloor in the Big Smoke. "Joe's" was "within stumbling distance" of our home on Humberside. Hubby and I met up there almost every night after work. I walked to Karaoke every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night for many, many years.
It was at Karaoke that I met Sara Weiser and Micheal Kostenuk. These two were a package deal; you rarely saw one without the other. On Karaoke nights Pina, Steve or whoever was tending bar would tuck the two same barstools--close to the stage--away for them.
They both sang, and they both sang well. Sara had a tendency for Bonnie Raitt songs but she could pretty well sing anything well in that deep, throaty voice of hers. We often chatted at the bar and cheered each other on before and after we got up to sing. Soon, Sara, Micheal and a few of our other friends formed a travelling Karaoke posse--we went to Sweet Daddy Siki's shows wherever he was hosting--in an east end dive or a west end dive that was a hop, skip and a jump from Joe's. We also frequented other spots in the Junction and Bloor West Village. If they were doing Karaoke and we knew about it, we were there!
Soon Sara and Micheal were also part of our "dinner party posse" as well. On numerous Friday nights or special occasions, Sara and Micheal sat around our dining room table, eating, drinking, laughing and sometimes arguing about politics or current events. Most of our posse was comprised of teachers; we'd all met and befriended each other at Joe's. We were all fairly left-leaning, but that didn't mean "debates" couldn't sprout up! Sara and Micheal were such a lovely, lively addition to any gathering.
Sometime in the early 2000's, Sara and Micheal announced that they'd sold their home at Bloor and Ossington and acquired a huge slice of heaven in Digby, Nova Scotia. Their property was massive, backing right onto the bay. It was there that Sara learned to drive so she'd be able to get around on her own. She also took up gardening with unbridled passion! Her gardens were nothing short of legendary. It was backbreaking work, often involving lugging giant slabs of stone and wood and wheelbarrows around, but Sara's devotion to beauty and perfection was tireless.
Sara then decided to "take up" quilting. After meticulous research and outfitting herself with a home studio, Sara began crafting and creating the most exquisite quilts I've ever seen. I fell in love with a "Jane Austen" quilt that Sara had posted on social media. I wrote about Sara and her quilts in Bread 'n Molasses magazine. My memory is a bit fuzzy, but I think we ended up auctioning the Jane Austen quilt online, with proceeds going to charity. I made sure I outbid everyone and then gifted my mom with that quilt. When my niece Abby was five or six years old, I commissioned a quilt for her that would match her newly decorated bedroom. Just about every child who has come into my life over the past two decades has received one of Sara's handmade patchwork perfections.
The enduringly charming pink and black "Art Deco" quilt (backed with the softest, palest petal pink polka dot flannel) is part of our living room décor. Some people buy throws at Homesense or Winners. Mine is a Sara Weiser handcrafted original. A couple of years ago, Sara donated one of her quilts to the Hospice Residential Home here in Windsor where I volunteer.
Sara Weiser made beautiful things.
We always enjoyed each other's company when we both lived in Toronto, but it was after she moved away that our friendship deepened. A former CBC librarian, Sara was not only erudite and incredibly well informed; she also had a rapier-like wit and wrote as eloquently as any acclaimed author. I delighted in receiving one of her long, newsy email missives, reading it over and over and then savouring the writing of my response.
I think one of the reasons for the depth of my bond with Sara is that we both found it so easy to be real and candid when writing each other. She was always upfront and straight with me about her health issues. I accepted whatever she wanted to share and never pressed her for more details. She always knew I was only an email away, and she made sure time and time again that I was well aware of how much she valued our connection.
Sara often made solo trips to Toronto from Digby to visit her mom and dad. After Mr. Weiser died, Sara took her mother on river cruise adventures and continued to visit her regularly. On one of those visits, Sara and her mom hosted the Friday Night dinner posse. They served Indian food and it was spectacular. That night, I learned that Sara's mom Ann was downsizing; her antique Queen Anne dining room table and her complete set of white Havilland French china was for sale. I bought it all! I also began writing to Ann regularly and emailing photos of all my fancy dinner party table settings.
Sara and I had so many things in common--a love of and passion for food, cooking, entertaining, writing, music, flowers, animals, wine, art and books. There were never any dull moments or pregnant pauses!
We also worked hard at our friendships and relationships; we both knew and appreciated that about each other.
Sara and Micheal moved back to Ontario several years ago. Thousands of miles closer than Nova Scotia, but still too far away.
In October 2018 I found myself in their hometown for Elton John's farewell concert tour. I was there long enough to enjoy a quality visit with Sara and Micheal at their downtown loft.
Sara was in the last stages of recovery from her major cancer surgery. She'd lost a lot of weight but she still looked good!
At that point it seemed like she was still destined to have many more years on Earth. She was able to enjoy life for a bit longer, but the blasted Big C was always lurking in the background or foreground. She took her treatments with strength, courage and determination, and never moaned or complained about it to me. Ever.
A couple of months ago Sara confided her decision to stop all treatment. The chemo was making her feel sicker, and her doctors confirmed that it wasn't going to do her much more good anyway. It was not going to save her life. The cancer could not be stopped from ravaging her body and mind. She described how she was getting her "affairs in order." She didn't say so, but we both knew she didn't have much time.
This past Thursday, Micheal posted on social media that Sara had been admitted to Hospice. She had a view of a magnolia tree and a bird feeder from her window.
But she was weak and wishing to go.
Last night Sara's wish was granted. She is now strong, pain-free, probably trying to figure out where they keep the wine and how to plant the most heavenly of gardens.
I know there are many who share my sense of loss and sadness. But as empty and sad as I feel, I am also grateful and relieved that this leg of Sara's journey has ended.
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