Funeral for a Friend

When you are The Second Wife there are people in your husband's circle who were there long before you were; people who met and got to know your husband when he was still married to his first wife.

I can't think of a group of people that I was more desperate to be accepted by when I become The Second Wife.

Most of my husband's friends and family members accepted me--perhaps not at first, but eventually.

Mike Savoie was one of the people who accepted me right off the bat, no questions asked and no awkward silences.

We found out that he died this week and our memories of him are gushing fast and furious through our minds, like an overflowing creek or stream.

Mike was diminutive in stature but had an oversized heart and love of life. No one enjoyed a joke more than he did, and no one loved his kids or grandkids more. Hearing Mike talk about them made me flush with warmth.

He didn't need a lot to be happy, just his family, his friends, his hobbies and his pets.

And I suppose some would say his vices, but it was hard for me to ever be judgmental about Mike because he never, ever judged me--and I will never forget that.

We were always welcome at his home on Prado Place and for years we always made a point of stopping in there on our visits to Windsor--without bothering to call first. 

I forget exactly when we stopped stopping in...I know there was no reason for it. Things change and many times we cannot pinpoint why. 

Somewhere along the line, I added Mike to our Christmas card list.

It never seemed right just to sign our names and mail off  a card with all that white space surrounding our signatures, so I always made sure I summarized what had gone on with us all year. At first I'd write by hand and fill every inch of that white space with my smudgy lefthanded scrawl. Then I finally got a home computer and typed pages and pages and pages to Mike. I usually had to find a bigger envelope to fit the card and letter in and pay extra postage.

Mike told me himself many times how much he loved my Christmas letter, but he also told many other people who also told me. That was all the positive reinforcement I needed to keep the tradition going.

Mike and my husband worked together at Chryslers for many years...most of the stories of their time there are probably best not repeated...but there's one that I can share. Even back then, Hubby was known for his artistic talent and was commissioned by Chrysler to adorn the cement walls of one of the plants with some murals. They were quite large and magnificent. 

Several years ago a large manila envelope arrived in our mailbox.

Inside were a series of full colur 8 1/2 by 10 photos of every one of those murals, courtesy of Mike Savoie. What a wonderful labour of love and a fine tribute...both to Hubby's talent and what those murals must have meant to Mike to ensure we had a permanent memento of them after decades had passed.

A few years ago, usually in the first or second week of January, I would receive an email from Mike thanking me for my Christmas letter. Sometimes he would include a few recent pictures of his many kids and grandkids. Nothing gave him more pride and pleasure than those grandkids.

I am so happy he lived long enough to experience being loved by grandchildren. I've lived long enough to experience that too and I can tell you, if I die tomorrow it would be okay.

But all the same, my heart aches for Mike. It aches because when we didn't hear from him this year after Christmas I didn't think anything of it. I noticed, but it didn't bother me. 

I realize that I have now reached an age where if I don't hear from someone that I normally hear from, I should try my damndest to find out why...because maybe that person is not well or dying.

We were planning on being in Windsor this weekend anyway for Easter...but even if that had not been in our plans, we'd for sure be driving there to pay our last respects to a man who was a great, loyal and devoted friend...to both my husband...and to me.

Rest in peace and Godspeed Michel Savoie.  

 

S  

 

 

 

Comments

[Thinkinaboutcha]

What a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to a person who played a monumental part in your life, simply by accepting you. I well remember this too, and could point out only one who walked right up to me with a big smile and shook my hand and said, "Hi... My name is Joe." Huge.

You are the easiest person in the world to fall in Love with.
How fortunate for Mike, too, that he had someone precious like you.

[D]

Karen, thank you so much for your kind words. The four of us kids, along with our significant others, the grandkids and even my mother & her husband got together for a nice fish fry last night. While we were all around the dinner table I read your lovely blog entry to everyone. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
I can't express to you how meaningful it is to us that you kept my dad in your thoughts every holiday season and as you said, he very much looked forward to your annual letters.

Thank you so much. This entry as well as your letters to dad mean more to us than you can possibly know.

With love and regards,
-Paulette Savoie-
pollynlouie@yahoo.ca